Saturday, August 22, 2009

Tremendous Sadness

It is with tremendous sadness that I let everyone know that Brianna is in the hospital again. Yesterday she turned blue again. Just started having problems getting enough oxygen, I immediately hooked her up to her pulse oximeter and her blood oxygen levels were at 61 (should be 100), got the oxygen going and even with that, her levels wouldn't increase. She was moaning and trying to breath, turning pale and blue. Jerry was home with me at the time, we continued with the oxygen hoping the episode would pass but after 8 to 10 minutes we called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they took one look at Bri, saw the blood oxygen level, and the oxygen and her little blue face and bolted us out the door into the ambulance on to the hospital. They were preparing to intubate her in the ambulance when her oxygen dropped again but thank you God, her levels came up.

We were in the ER for a while and then she was admitted. Today we have found out that her pulmonary hypertension is extremely severe. I have noticed in the last month that her heart has become larger due to having to work extra hard to push the oxygen into her lungs. The first indication of a problem was the bundle branch block that happened last week. We know there are meds for hypertension but the problem is she needs a cardiac catherization before the proper dosage of meds can be administered or they could be fatal. Last week her cardiologist told us he could not do the cathe. We are now meeting with a new cardiologist but the fear is that the procedure would be very high risk and she would not survive it, that is even if we could find a cardiologist who would agree to do it. Even if so and she survived it, how much time would the meds give her to live? Then we have to ask ourselves if we are being selfish in putting her through this? We want her here, we want her to stay with us. You can't imagine how hard this is.

We finally allowed ourselves to really look to the future, a teacher from the school would start coming to the house in the Fall, and when she turned 3 she would be going to school, we ordered her a wheelchair, I've been planning her Halloween costume. There are so many photos I still want to take, places we want to take her.

Please pray, pray, pray for just a little more time. Just 5 minutes more.....

6 comments:

  1. oh Brenda I can't imagine how hard this is. and yet I can. cos Vera's ribcage has also gradually enlarged over the months, i believe from the extra effort to pump oxygen. wish I could be there now to lend some support...

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  2. Brenda & Jerry,

    I am so sorry. Just know we love you all very much and you have all our prayers.

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  3. Debbie Linster-AliAugust 22, 2009 at 5:17 PM

    Thinking of you, the balance of pulmonary hypertension and a VSD are so fine, that's what happened to Noah, as for more time it's the only wish you want granting, I hope you get it. X

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  4. Nothing is too hard for God...encouraging you to trust and remain faithful. You all remain in my prayers, asking that the desire of your hearts will be answered.~

    "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:26-28

    Hugs-n-kisses Brianna ~ we love you here in PA~

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  5. Brenda and Jerry...I just read your post and am praying. I'd love to come to the hospital to give you a hug, to pray...On the other hand I don't want to intrude - so please, your have my cell number, give me a call if you'd like me to come because I'll be right there. Bless you dear folks. May the Lord comfort your hearts, sustain you with grace, give you wisdom and direction and be your peace in thie midst of this most difficult time! Sending love! Carole Mc

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  6. Brenda

    Sending my love - and prayers - My heart is aching for you - tough decisions to be made, yet God will guide you and comfort you. Hugs to sweet Brianna.

    Kathryn

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