Monday, October 26, 2009

Here I Am

I don't know how else to title this chapter except to say Here I Am, or actually Here We Are....moving on with life. I can't say we're moving on without Bri because although she is not here physically, she IS here, in our hearts and thoughts. The thing about grief is dang it, it can sneak up on you right out of the blue. The first days after Bri died, the grief was different. The pain she was in the few days before death helped us to realize that it truly was a blessing that she had been received upon the Lord but as the days and weeks progress, it's harder to remember the pain she as in because our pain of missing her sweet little smiling face is so overwhelming. It's harder to go into her bedroom without sobbing. I know this will pass and that it will eventually get easier and I don't want to rush it because I need to feel this. I just need to feel it.

On another note, we have been asked to share our story with Hospice of the Comforter here in Altamonte Springs and today is the day. A local television crew will be filming us in a couple of hours. I can feel the tears already. The story will "debut" Dec. 4th at a Hospice fundraiser. We will keep you posted.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Oh Sweet, Sweet Brianna

I can be having a pretty decent day and click on Bri's website and the tears begin to stream down my face when I see that gorgeous smile on sweet Bri. Thank God that she was so very happy during her short lifetime.

Life is going on at a much different pace now. I am actually getting through some of the "stacks" of "stuff" that piled up the last couple of years. One would think I would have a lot of time on my hands but actually I don't. Well, I probably could but I prefer to keep busy, it keeps the sadness from creeping in on me.

Jerry is back to work full time, traveling a lot and not liking it at all. I don't like it either but right now, that is where we are at job wise. Praying every day for something to happen / change up so he can be at home more.

Ashley is back in school and working part time. I don't get to see her very much which makes me sad but I have to get used to the fact that she is 17, almost 18 and at that age, who wants to hang out with their mother?!!!

We've started a flower garden between our house and Kathy's house and it has been officially named "Brianna's Garden". Kathy and Jim bought a beautiful angel statue and cross for the garden. We both planted various flowering plants that attract butterflies. One of the hospice volunteers, Ann P., brought over and planted a beautiful pink hibiscus. She officially dubbed the color "Brianna Pink". Here in the near future I will take some photos and post them. The garden is really beautiful and the butterflies have been feeding daily.

Please note the Brianna Gives Hope Foundation info on the left side of the site. Things are happening....we are very excited.