Monday, September 28, 2009

What is there to say

I know...I have been away for some time now but in all reality, what is there for me to say? really, what is left to say? Each and every day I wake up and think ohhhhhh another day. I can't believe how fast the time is going by. Bri died 3 1/2 weeks ago yet it seems like yesterday. Upon her passing I felt that I had no regrets that I (we) had left no stone unturned but as the time continues on it is easy to find things that I regret, just holding her a little more, singing to her a little more, hugging and smelling her a little more....we just miss her presence in our lives so very much. My heart aches like you couldn't believe. Jerry is back at work full time and Ashley is back at school full time and I am working at the house sorting out "stacks" of "stuff" that have been stacked up for the last 2 1/2 years. LOTS of filing and organizing to do. I hope in the near future to find at least a part-time job. Guess I will see what God has in store for me next.

We so appreciate the many donations made to the Brianna Gives Hope Foundation and Jerry and I are working with the folks at our church, First Presbyterian Church of Orlando's Heart of the City Foundation, to make each and every dollar donated to Brianna Gives Hope counts. We feel honored to have FPCO's Heart of the City Foundation work with us to make a change in other people's lives. Jerry, Ashley and I feel so incredibly proud to be able to honor Brianna's life in such a way to help others. God has been and continues to be so good to us. We will be sure to keep you posted on information regarding Brianna's Foundation.

Good night sweet baby Bri.....we miss you so very much.


  1. Dearest Brenda,

    You, Jerry and Ashley were the most perfect and amazing family for your sweet Brianna. I pray that the Lord continues to hold you all tightly in the palm of His hand as you get through these difficult days ahead.

    I pray that soon these thoughts of regret will change to beautiful, lifelong memories of your precious and cherished daughter.

  2. i know i tend to make my comments to you more about me...guess its' just part of the journey but today i find it amazing that our words are lining up just the same. I literally just spoke and typed the words "more." I am broken in my loss today. We are almost a week away from the 1 year anniversary and it's just a storm in my heart. I feel the loss over and over again, like it's washing over me for the first time. I share with you because i believe that when i ask God to let me carry anothers cross with them, that includes grieving with them..even when i don't realize it's for them that i cry. I am praying and asking God to relieve some of your pain today with my tears. I share in your grief today. I am still here.

    keep me in mind when the time comes..for donating hats/beanies for babies. :)

  3. Brenda, You know you did all you could humanly possible. Even with our so called normal, we will always say could I have done more. The T18 journey is hard, tiring and so heartbreaking, stressful etc, but so beautiful, wonderful, joyous, loving, incredible. You gave her sooooooo much and yet when God called her home you let her go. People have actually told me that I am not allowing Annabel to go. I think I will and in my quiet times I tell God that when He is ready we will miss her, but just like you, we don't want her to suffer.
    Praying that you make a Texas visit before that part-time job. Thank you to you and Jerry for the call. I know how much I think of Bri, so can't imagine how each moment is filled with your sweet little girl.

  4. I think of Bri often too...and know how hard it must be to have your heart ache like this. please be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time.