Friday, September 18, 2009

oh where to start

I open up Bri's blogspot and can't stop crying. The tears are pouring like rain. We miss her so much. Her absolutely beautiful happy face radiating out from the blogspot. It has been 15 days since she died. Died, I have to say that word. I can't continue to say the unreal words like "passed or gone away". Brianna has died, end of sentence. Yesterday I was at the doctor with Jerry, it appears that he has thrown his back out, and luck would have it (although I wouldn't really call it luck) that I would look at my watch right at 2:55 pm, the time she died two weeks ago. Tears, tears and more tears.

Jerry had planned on going back to work this past Wednesday. I was going to go with him to Atlanta, with a stop in Savannah on the way, just to be there together but that didn't happen. We couldn't do it. Couldn't leave the house. Every day we kept saying "ok today we will get out and do something". never happened until today. We finally got out and went up to the Wekiva River and sat on the riverbank in adirondack chairs and just enjoyed the outdoors. I could feel Bri's presence in the beautiful outdoors. She was there with us for sure. Big angel hugs and kisses to you Bri, mama, daddy and sissy miss you so very much.

8 comments:

  1. She will be missed by so many. Can't imagine your pain.

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  2. It is only two weeks since she died! Give yourself some leeway, some time to grieve. Be gentle with yourself, and if you can't go out just yet, don't try. You will be able to sooner or later, but these things take time, and you can't rush them. Don't let anybody tell you how you should be feeling - you feel what you feel, and that is how it should be.

    And know that you are loved.

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  3. brenda we are missing bri too. i think of your family often. like annabel said, take it easy on yourself. sending lots of love your way.

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  4. Thinking of and praying for you today.

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  5. Robin Mcwhorter WallaceSeptember 19, 2009 at 3:50 PM

    Having also lost a daughter (10 years ago) all I can say is God Bless you on your journey. May you forever be blessed with the presence of your beloved Brianna.

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  6. We miss her too. Know that she will be smiling at you always...from above.

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  7. Brenda, we are remembering Brianna with you and holding you close in our hearts. These early days are so painful as I so remember after losing my Isaac. Cry as much as you need to as each tear is sacred and healing to your soul and connect to us all who have cried these tears of loss too. Our children are all together in God's loving arms . . .

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  8. I have been thinking of you guys all day, I cry every time I look at her blog photo too. I miss her so much and I keep that card you gave me the night we met with this website and that beautiful picture of her in my wallet. I cant even imagine the pain of this all for you. Let me know when you are ready for a visit from Maddie and I. I miss Bri and I miss you too!
    With Love,
    Kristin Hendricks

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